is it over yet?

i just want christmas to be over with, mostly cause i hate going to work cause it's so busy and people are so stupid. i really hate that they are returning things before christmas. today i worked 2-6 at the service desk and from 4-6 i was by myself and the line never stopped. i was constantly doing returns and trying to answer the phone. and there was noone to help me. and they asked me to stay later but i said no. too bad for them. not my problem if they don't have help for the cashiers. i didn't have help at the service desk today so why should i help them. and i have to work 4-10 at the service desk again on friday but i'll only be by myself until 6 so i guess that won't be too bad. but saturday will be the worst. i'm a cashier from 10-5:30 but at least my shift should go by fast.

well rob no longer has a gf, he got dumped yesterday. but then he went out for coffee with sarah(his ex before me) and they saw this girl there that they started talking to and rob ended up getting her number so now he's interested in her. i should have just blocked and deleted him a long time ago and never stayed friends with him. this is way too hard. it's funny cause he always complains that girls never like him but look at him now. it's like he is mr. popular and i'm the loner in the background. everyone tells me that he is no good for me and that i deserve better but part of me still wants him back. but i know i should move on and not dwell on the past. it still would be nice if i had someone to move on with. i really miss being in a relationship.

i'm excited for christmas but at the same time i'm not. this is mostly because my dad isn't going to be here. christmas has always been my favorite holiday and i love spending it with my family but it's never going to be the same again. i just hope i can make it thru this weekend. i know it's going to be really tough on my mom. on sunday we are going to see my dad's grave with some of my other family. i don't know if that will make it better or worse. the first year is always the hardest. it's just not fair, why my dad?

ok well i was going to post more but i'm too upset right now. more later.