it's been 1 year since my dad passed away

i can't believe that it's been 1 year already since my dad passed away from having cancer. that disease seems to take over a lot of people. last month my great uncle passed away from it and ash just found out that her grandma has lung cancer. last night it really hit me hard cause all i was thinking about was being at the hospital a year ago and almost losing my dad that night but then having him hang on for 1 more day. i booked the day off today cause i don't think i could have worked and i wanted to spend time with my mom. so we went shopping and while we were having lunch, the song Angel by Sarah McLaughlan came on. which is kind of ironic since that is one of the songs we played at my dad's funeral. it was kind of like a sign in a way i guess. we were going to the go the cemetary but we went grocery shopping after lunch and then came home and my mom and i both ended up having 2 hour naps. and apparently they close the cemetaries at night so we couldn't go after supper. so now i feel kind of bad that i didn't go there since i haven't been there since Christmas Day. it's just too hard for me to go there. and it's not like i don't think about him at all.

Brad and i never hung out last wednesday. he ended up having to go to a small town for work and wasn't going to be back until later that night. we did talk on the phone but still. and this weekend he went to BC so who knows when we'll hang out. my guess is probably never cause he probably will always have some excuse. it's just like what Jason used to do. he always had his soccer or some other thing and then would say, "well i don't even see any of my other friends either". and Brad said that to me too. and well i haven't talked to Jason since like January and i probably won't ever talk to him again unless he comes online or phones me or if he ever comes to the city and i run into him. clearly he's not wanting to make the effort to stay friends with me. so whatever. so we'll see how Brad is going to be. i want to try really hard again not to call him and see if he'll actually call me.

my Pysch 333 class is over. my group ended up getting 92% on our presentation, which is awesome. that's the best i've done on something in university. too bad it wasn't worth more of our mark but oh well. i just hope i did ok on the final. and starting Tuesday, my psych 204 class starts. i hope there is at least 1 person in that class that i know. although then i could make new friends.

i found out that i get the 12-16 off so i'm going camping with my friends. i'm quite excited about it. now i dont have to drive up there by myself or anything. cause apparently we aren't going to the clearwater we thought we were going to. but hopefully it will be a good time. i'm just excited to be getting away.

that's about all i have to say right now. i'll write more later if anything comes up.